Wednesday, 17 September 2014

Facebook Cold Turkey

So, I deactivated my Facebook account a little over 21 days ago, for myriad reasons, but the largest contributing factor was, that it often made me feel like crap and obsess over things that really didn’t need obsessing over.

I’m a natural born worrier, and so worrying about things I saw on Facebook was a natural extension of that, but when I noticed that often, I felt anxious when checking Facebook, I decided that enough was enough. Not that I am blaming Facebook for this; I fully appreciate it’s my own personality flaws (or quirks) that made me feel the way I did, but I realised the only way to get a handle on it was to cut myself off for a while.

Other factors in my decision were –

The sheer amount of time I spent on Facebook; I don’t think the frequency with which I would check in (only exasperated by having a ‘smart’ phone that would beep to alert me if anyone so much as farted) was healthy or normal.

Frankly it made me feel like I was back at school sometimes, and… yeah, I just don’t need that. I’ve drifted away from some people, despite my (often repeated) efforts to keep in touch, and sometimes seeing people interact with others, while not responding to me felt like a slap in the face, and something I would dwell on way more than is healthy.

It made me cross, again, entirely my own problem, but I would often find myself getting riled up by things people posted and – seriously – when I take a step back I realise it’s just not worth it.

So yes, cold turkey for me. I am sure I will be back at some point (I have far too much history stored up on there to abandon it altogether) but for the time being I’ve made the decision that, until not logging into Facebook feels normal (i.e. I don’t miss it), I will be keeping my distance.

Although, since I stopped using Facebook, I have been spending more time using Twitter, which probably seems counterproductive at first glance. However I find Twitter and Facebook to be two vastly different beasts.

While Facebook feels very personal to me, I feel a greater degree of detachment when using Twitter, which actually leads to a greater sense of freedom/not giving a damn. On Twitter I (mostly) post whatever I feel like, and don’t feel self-conscious about it, whereas on Facebook I would worry about how things I posted would be interpreted by X, Y & Z. I don’t get that with Twitter, probably because a) in the grand scheme of the Twittersphere I am pretty much invisible (think I have less than 100 ‘followers’), and b) a lot of my followers on Twitter aren’t people I know in real life. I don’t know why exactly, but somehow I like that better.

I do sometimes wonder if real friends and the internet actually mix that well? Historically I’ve used the internet to interact with strangers (back in the day of Yahoo chatrooms – OMG!) and really enjoyed the experience, but brining people I *know* into the equation, somehow muddies the water a bit for me. Maybe because I care less about what strangers think of me(?), or feel that my friends/people I know will be more likely to judge me (that’s probably the exact opposite of how most people think I know)… All I know is that, when I first used the internet to ‘talk’ to people, it felt like a different world – I had the freedom to be myself and didn’t have to worry (this was at a time when I was bullied a LOT so for me to be ‘myself’ and feel accepted was a rare and wonderful thing).

I appreciate the irony in the fact that I used an online life to escape bullying when I was younger, and these days you can’t read the news without seeing headlines about cyber bulling. It does seem that perhaps the internet has changed in recent years, or perhaps I was just lucky with my previous experiences? I suppose there is always a flip side – I used the anonymity online to experience a degree of freedom I didn’t have ‘in real life’, and some people use it to pick on people. They probably did then, they still do now.

So, yeah, in summary; I haven’t felt Facebook is very good for my mental well-being in a long time. Probably because I need to learn to moderate my crazy, not compare myself endlessly to others, and demonstrate some self-control. But my feelings on the matter have definitely led me to think more seriously about 'social' media and the impact it has on our lives.

What are your thoughts on Facebook/social media in general?

Tuesday, 16 September 2014

7 days and counting...

...until our holiday! Well, technically, it's actually our Honeymoon, but a very, very belated one (we will be away over our 1 year wedding anniversary too). Yes, we're off to America, for just over two weeks, and I am so excited I think I might pop.

Here's our travel itinerary:

  • Boston
  • Mystic
  • New York
  • Washington DC
  • Warm Springs
  • Charleston
  • Lexington
  • Louisville
  • Chicago
  • Boston

I have reached the ripe old age of thirty and, so far, never made it across the pond, so that is adding an extra layer of excitement for me right now. I am not sure that I am really convinced that, yes, it is real, we are going; a feeling that is probably, at least partly, due the fact my lovely husband has organised 99.9% of the trip for us (Yeah, he had to take over when I proved incapable of making a single decision, due to being TOO EXCITED!!!! (and also wanting to see ALL THE THINGS!!!!).

Anyway, to celebrate that fact it's only a week away now, here's a jolly map! Thanks to the limitations of Google Maps this isn't 100% accurate - Boston - Washington we are taking the train, following which we hire a car up until Louisville, and then we're flying from Louisville to Chicago, and then again from Chicago back to Boston - but hopefully you get the idea.

Watch out America - Pea & Badger (that's the husband by the way, I'm not taking an actual badger with me) are coming!



Monday, 15 September 2014

Welcome Autumn!

I love autumn, don’t you?

Ever since I can remember, I’ve been ridiculously excited by the changing of the seasons from summer to autumn. Days get cooler, trees turning, bonfire night and Halloween to look forward to. Stew! Baked potatoes! Frost! Rosy cheeks! Pints of ale consumed snuggled next to the fire in a country pub. For me the list is endless...

Plus the clothes! I’ve never felt well equipped to dress for summer – I’m not comfortable showing so much skin (especially my pasty leg skin) during the day. I am much happier dressing for the cooler weather – tights, boots, coats, layers – YAY!!

I tend to wear opaque / semi-opaque tights all year round, particularly for work, but somehow I feel ‘wrong’ wearing opaques during the summer. Don’t get me wrong, I love sheer tights (M&S bodyshaper tights in ‘illusion’ are my all-time favourite for a natural look on pale skin (see here)) but I’m clumsy and ladder them so easily, plus laziness plays a part, and sometimes keeping the leg stubble at bay isn’t top of my priority list. Opaque tights are harder to ladder (although I have still succeeded on occasion) and cover dry/stubbly legs up a treat.

So during the Autumn and even Winter, I feel like I can dress like me more easily, without looking like what I’ve got on is completely inappropriate for the climate.

I also love a good boot – nothing says ‘autumn is coming’ like a new boot to stomp around in. This year I have added these lovely boots from John Lewis to my collection.

They are a gorgeous boot and, despite the height of the heel (which is taller than I’d normally opt for), very comfortable. Most of my boots have been lace up, but these have a side zip which is such a welcome addition.

I know a lot of people are normally sad to see the back of summer (my husband included) but to me autumn is as much a season of newness and excitement as spring. Life is a cycle and I know summer will be back, but for now it’s time to put on my boots and go kicking through those leaves.

What is your favourite thing about autumn?



Hello! I am Pea – an incurably lazy girl. I’m a bit of a foodie, obsessed with bacon, lover of real ales, a die-hard cosmetics junkie, and I ‘do’ science for a living.

Yes, I probably am as mad as I look...

I’m starting this blog, with a vague notion of just blogging about my life, and what interests me, a bit like a journal I suppose. But also I hope it can inspire me to be less lazy, so I have things to actually write about (because a million posts about a lazy girl sat on the sofa watching Friends (yes again) probably won’t be that interesting).

I haven’t really blogged before, well actually, that isn’t strictly true. Yes, I had an angst filled blog on Myspace for a while there (am I alone in being kind of glad they aren’t open to the public anymore?) and I’ve dipped in an out of blogger (I first registered in 2010), but I never stuck to it. I’m hoping that this time it will stick!

To be perfectly honest, in this heyday of blogging, I appreciate I am rather late to the party, and doubt that I have anything new or particularly exciting to add. As such this really is for me and I will just see where it takes me [/vague]. The truth of the matter is; I am so chronically lazy that if I manage to actually blog consistently at all, it will be a landmark in and of itself!

I can also be found on Twitter: @Trooty

Thanks for reading!